“If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. Hooo.." - Batman
Welcome to DBB
You know the old saying, with great power comes great responsibility. To be a hero it takes responsibility, wisdom and the wanting to help people because they need you. These guys may not be the heroes the world wants..or needs..or deserves…actually where am I going with this? These guys are definitely the prime example of why everyone CAN be a hero, but that doesn't mean they should.
Juan - the local landscaper and the legendary hero of many names
Spooderman - your friendly neighborhood destroying bozo
Before we Begin
Of course we will be using all of Juans YouTube content on the David Lopez channel. And we will be using all of boths equipment and abilities seen in their videos, so yeah very straightforward lol
And for extra fun, since Spooderman is a meme character. We will also be using content inspired by or directly using Laugh over life's version of the character..So get ready for crazy action…
Connections
Randos who always find themselves in insane situations by either being annoying or being stupid (or both)
Are Nuisances to most people around them but are still close friends with said people
Are “professional" amateur superheroes who somehow find themselves above the real professionals
Fought many powerful foes that of course does not take them seriously.
Background
Juan
" Keep spendin most of my life, living off my mamas beans and rice.”
Juan Jose Carlos Nacho De La Cruz Rodriguez Martinez Lopez grew up having to escape the Mexican border, which unfortunately left him having to abandon his best friend and leave him to die. Fortunately he at least grew up in America and lived a well enough life, he became a landscaper and mostly worked for a family man named Josh. He lived with his cousin Jesus and sometimes crashed at Josh’s place to do his job or just hang out. Don't think living with Juan is easy tho, he's very messy, constantly lies to you, drags you along to his trouble and is very untrustworthy and naive. So yeah basically the perfect best friend, and although the people in his life can't stand him..they still consider him family. (Josh literally adopts him for a day lol) Juan has adopted many superhero identities, he's even faced his old best friend that he left to die and sacrificed himself to save his friends life. But whether anyone likes it or not, Juan will always be here to make your life better..or most likely worse.
Spooderman
“I'm not the hero the world wants, but I am the hero that the world gets."
Everyone loves Spiderman, he saves the day, gets the girl and will always make sure everyone is protected. Same thing was the case for this Spiderman, until he ate a peanut (that he was allergic to) and got bit by a spider (which he was also allergic to.) It left Peter Parker deformed and pretty fucked up in the head, he became a new man…he became…Spooderman. The City hasn't been the same since, and not in a good way. People getting regularly harassed and beaten, the city is being destroyed by random spooder people, and universes are being destroyed because of Spoodermans stupidity. Thankfully because of help from Doctor Strange, Spooderman ended up doing much more good than he initially did before. Did he do absolutely terrible? Yes, but by textbook definition..he's still technically a hero. And he'll keep being a hero and protecting people as long as he lives (may God have mercy on us)
Skill and Experience
Juan
Everyone around the neighborhood knows Juan for his landscaping and hard jobs. Juan is great at gardening, lawn mowing and cleaning. He's also really good with food and can cook up some mean recipes. In fact he made tacos that were so delicious they got him a job as a "Senior Account Manager”. Juan is practically the Janitor in every job he's in, even as a Jedi. Juan is also much smarter than he looks, he was able to analyze and put logic in an interrogation when he was put on the fence. Juan has outsmarted many many different enemies between heroes and horror.
Juan is also great at tricking people into bribes and business. He's a very skilled fighter, an avenger and defeated many powerful people either by luck or power.
Spooderman
Spooderman is barely skilled in any way but you gotta give it to him, the fact he always survives his adventures is insane. The dude has gone through the MCU, Star Wars and his own chaos. He's also really acrobatic just like any other Spiderman, And is able to somehow become the most destructive force in any world he's in. Not to mention he was able to somehow kill many many people while being a hero.
He's also somehow been able to stay a hero for many years and is infamous for all the destruction and chaos he causes just by his stupidity. And surprisingly enough his stupidity makes him VERY unpredictable which gives him the leg up in some situations..
Arsenal
Juan
Gun
No witnesses
Belt
OH SHIT RUN..
Landscaping Equipment
Of course being a professional landscaper that means he has all the equipment he needs to do the job. Like a trimmer, a lawnmower, shears, rakes, shovels the list goes on.
Naranjas
FMTs lesson of the Day: don't rob a Mexican selling Naranjas.
Baseball equipment
No no you must be confused. It's the “Juanlot" not the “Sandlot" or whatever that is..
Mjolnir
Only those that are worthy can lift Mjolnir, that's why Juan is the ultimate prodigy.
Huaraches
They say the most unexpected threats come from the most unexpected weapons, that's why no one would expect a Huarache to be deadly…unless you're Hispanic.
Infinity Gauntlet
Now this..puts a smile on my face. The power of the gauntlet rests on the worst shoulders ever. With the Gauntlet Juan is able to create portals that lead to anywhere, snap anything from existence, can levitate objects, can create powerful illusions, can trap people inside Fortnite and of course rewind time.
Pokèjuan Ball
You see, Juan doesn't summon Pokemon, this is Pokèjuan. Juan instead summons any Loteria card. Whether it be El borracho, Las Jaras or even La Sandía (yes really..) which is definitely op in some cases…
Star Juan Equipment
You see, as a Gardener of the Galaxy, it's Star Juans job to create new life after it's destroyed by big bads like Thanos or Galactus. He normally comes with laser blasters good for making jokes to plant seeds in.
Lament Configuration
This infamous box is able to constantly summon and unsummon the notorious pinhead
DeLorean
We all know about the DeLorean, and how it's basically the go to time machine. What makes it different is that it ignores all the rules of time travel.
Broomsaber
Obi Juan Kenobi is very skilled in what he does. As in he's a very good janitor..he's so good he accidentally defeated a sith Lord.
Spooderman
Remote Explosives
When The Avoongers found themselves having to stop a massive explosion, they went ahead and…caused it.
Minecraft Axe
Never thought you'd axe but, yes he does have an axe.
Survival Equipment
To be a survivor you need the right equipment, like a helmet, a sword and of course an animal companion!
Infinity Gauntlet
Seeing that Spooderman can access the Avoongers arsenal, It'd be more stupid than Spooderman to assume he can't use the Gauntlet…unfortunately.
Mjolnir
It was confirmed that Spooderman could've used Mjolnir if he wanted to, he just didn't wanna embarrass Thor.
Sorcerer's Wand
While the wand in his universe was destroyed by him, there are many other universes that have this wand. And a Spooderman was able to use one so anything is possible…this wand is capable of energy projection blasts, portal creation, and it can be used as a combat weapon.
Lightsaber
After stealing Kylo Ren’s lightsaber, Spooderman truly encapsulated himself as a Skywalker and a Jedi.
Electric Sword
With the ultimate enchantment, Spooderman was able to use his electric Sword to finally defeat the menaces that threatened his Minecraft world.
Multiverse Watch
Welcome to the Spooder-verse my friend, you'll need a watch that'll let you travel to any universe and meet all the other Spooders.
Abilities
Juan
Spiderman Powers
When Juan got bitten by a radioactive spider, he got all the normal Spiderman powers but Mexican. Of course Super Strength, speed, agility, healing, web shooting and the ability to become invisible.
Spooderman
Spooder Physiology
As a spooder he's much more different than the average human being. He's dumber, he's stupid, he's clumsy, he's naive….wait what's the positive here? They're very hard to kill, as they can survive being shot in the head 3 times. And they can survive multiple stab wounds.
Spooderman Powers
Spooderman has basic Spiderman powers. Being able to use his webs to swing, use them as projectiles (that constantly explodes on impact), use them to grab objects and can even use them to launch uh…. liquids. And they can become solid objects. Spooderman also has “Spooder senses" that alert him of danger, though they're more like absolute headaches… They also have " Spooder farts” that cover up entire buildings.
Forms
Juan
Batjuan
As Batjuan, Juan now has access to a new set of skills and arsenal. He was trained to be a skilled fighter and went through the hardest work to become great. Batjuan also has Chancla-rangs that are way more deadly than Batarangs..
Iron Juan
Iron Juan is more powerful than he looks, he has the power to use 2 steam irons to burn people. Oh go ahead and laugh, wait till you find out how hot that shit is…..he can also shoot out repulsor blasts just like the real Iron Man
Juan Punch Man
Never attempt to fight Juan when he is the Juan Punch Man. He can react to and dodge punches faster than the eye can see, and he can use Chanclas to defeat Villains in one Hit. Not to mention his speed is insane, he can create after images, and when he applies Vicks to his Chanclas, he can destroy entire viruses.
El Chapulín Colorado
Juans final and most powerful form…nothing can compare to its power and might.
Spooderman
Resistances
Juan
Dream Manipulation - Juan has power over anyone who tries to control his dreams, even Freddy Krueger had no power over him.
Poison/Disease Manipulation - We all know Vicks vapor rub can solve anything, It even helped him when he was poisoned by Jigsaw. which is why Juan always keeps it on him.
Spooderman
Pain Manipulation - is able to constantly shrug off and not react to pain like being shot.
Heat Manipulation - is able to survive being in the middle of large amounts of fire
Actions
Juan
Overall
Makes amazing music (nothing will ever beat Juan Bop)
Was able to defeat Darth Vader and remain undetected in the Death Star
Became Captain Jack Sparrow’s second in command
Saved the entire universe by going back in time and raising Thanos
Became an official avenger
Strength
Was able to Knock out Josh with one punch
Create this AOE with one Huarache (Multi Continental)
Was able to “accidentally" create this massive effect on the planet
Speed
Claimed to have dodged Chanclas his whole life
Ran faster than slowed down time
Reacted to the flash running despite him running "faster than the speed of light
Ate 20 tacos when the Flash ran around the whole planet in less than a second, and then said “what took you so long." (Relativistic+)
Was able to blitz UI Goku, who stated he could react to threats without conscious thought; and purely on instinct.
Durability
Him and David survived their car jumping off a cliff
Was able to survive this building explosion
Completely resisted black Adams electricity
Withstood SSB Goku's punches without reaction
Spooderman
Overall
Saved the MCU from destroying itself
Created the perfect team up with the Avoongers
Was able to defeat Kylo Ren and the empire
Will help Doctor Strange take down Sonic, the ultimate threat to the universe.
Became an official Skywalker
Strength
Was able to pull down a bunch of buildings with his webs
Was able to blow up an entire plane with just one web shot
Relative to Iron Moon who destroyed an entire building
Was stated to be destroying “other universes" because of his stupidity
Created a power outage throughout the entire city (Mountain)
Speed
Relative to Captain Amoorica who reacted to Iron Moons laser blast
Can react to multiple bullets firing
Relative to the Doctor Strange of his world who reacted to the Wands light blasts
Is able to continuously dodge swings from Kylo Ren
Durability
Survived falling from a tall building
Can survive being beat up by many random things
Survived being slammed by She Hulk
Can constantly survive being crushed by large objects.
Scaling
Juan
David Lopez
Uhhhhh..idk.
Spooderman
Sonic the hedgehog
Of course Spooderman was stated to be the perfect weapon against Sonic, but Spoodermans strange also physically fought against This cracked up Hedgehog…
Weaknesses
Juan
Juan is generally very distrusting and can be full of himself in many moments. He'd often be overconfident in his abilities which causes him to freak out or run from a situation if he sees he's at a disadvantage. He's also never aware of the situations he's in which can cause him to be vulnerable to attack by outside sources. And perhaps the biggest weakness of all is..Mexican culture. Juan is deathly afraid of the Chancla, La Llorona, El Chupacabra and the paranomia.
Spooderman
This is simple, Spooderman is an actual dumbass. His obvious weakness is how stupid and self destructive he is, not to mention he's generally bad at anything involving competence. He's very athletic and bouncy but he's horrible at corporations and he mostly needs help from people like Strange to actually guide him. He's also horrible at keeping anyone alive, he killed an entire plane filled with Spooder people because he accidentally shot it down with his web. And he's constantly destroying even powerful artifacts at his disposal.
Before the Verdict
Uhhh….I got nothing..this doesn't usually happen huh. So uhhh, let's just play a game! I spy with my little eye something white!
That's right it's the entire background! Good job!!
Ok ok, I spy with my little eye something cramped…
Good job it's the text border! Yeah it can get a little cramped here tbh, and the white background makes everything really cold…and quiet…and lonely…
I spy with my little eye something colorful and cool looking!
That's right, it's the verdict section! Here we go!
Verdicts
So which of these Unlikable Unthinkable and Unsuspectingly cool heroes will win this battle of no wits and no draws? Idk but I'll probably find one later.
Experience/Skill
Now you can definitely argue that Spooderman is more experienced than Juan. After all he was still Spiderman before he became Spooderman, and he's definitely had more experience with combat if we use a good enough estimate. Unfortunately Juan is just leagues above that in terms and skills and smarts. Now it's not hard at all to be smarter than Spooderman, but Juan has tricked many professional workers, has gotten out of draws with heroes and horror villains, and frankly proves himself to be superior to lots of people he's faced. Juan also knows much more about combat seeing as he's fought multiple people at the same time and is extremely skilled with weapons. Meanwhile uhhhh, yeah the same can't be said for Spooderman-
This Category goes to JUAN.
Arsenal/Equipment
Now this category is very interesting Indeed, both have a pretty similar amount of weapons and equity. Both have Mjolnir, the Infinity Gauntlet and even Lightsabers. Spoodermans best weapon is def the Wand, it can create portals anywhere, can create massive blasts of magic to combat anyone. And the Gauntlet of course is good at erasing people from existence…unfortunately Juan can do the same and more. His Gauntlet can create portals and snap anything away from existence, but he can also create impressive illusions, reverse time and just trap people in games. Not to mention Juan does have ways more weapons at his disposal and way more weapons he can use at a far range. And he can also just summon his own support with his Pokèjuan ball or just use the DeLorean. And that's not even talking about Batjuan and Iron Juan, Juan just has way more and way better. This Category goes to JUAN.
Abilities/Powers
Now both don't have too much in the abilities department but this will still be easy to decide. Now both have Spiderman like powers but Spooderman definitely gives more to himself, he has a web bomb that covers entire buildings, can turn his webs into exploding projectiles or solidify his web fluid into a staff. And of course his abilities make him hard to put down seeing as he can take stabs and gunshots to the head without pain, and he's incredibly athletic. That being said Juan has the upper hand by simply having the ability to turn invisible..spooder sense won't help with that since it keeps giving you a migraine and makes you vulnerable. Not to mention Juan Punch Man automatically gives Juan massive AOE, afterimages and much better instinct. And Juan can just level himself up to even turn into El Chapulin Colorado…this Category also goes to JUAN
Scaling/Stats
Oh boy..yeah Spooderman may be physically impressive with his blackout feat and has superhuman reaction speed with great travel speed using Sonic scaling. Unfortunately uh..yeah Juan got this. He has a Planet spanning AOE and is stronger by a mile. Not to mention Juan blitzes to a horrific degree…dude can casually go faster than light and blitz a guy who can fight and react without conscious thought and purely off instinct. Even if we take the Sephiroth statement seriously Juan is still blitzing to a massive degree. This Category once again goes to JUAN.
Summary
Juan
Advantages:
Way Stronger and Faster
Smarter and far more skilled
Has a larger and better amount of weapons and arsenal
Has greater abilities to combat Spooderman
Greater AOE
C'mon the dude fought Freddy Fazbear…
Disadvantages:
Less experienced in comparison to Spooderman
Has less variety in his abilities
Has less mobility than Spooderman
Not as athletically fit
You really want a friend like Juan?
Spooderman
Advantages:
More experienced in combat and dimensional travel
Far more athletic and physically fit (that's weird to say)
More unique and varied amount of abilities
Has dealt for more higher scaled threats
Better Mobility and travel
Saving the MCU is no easy task..
Disadvantages:
Far weaker and slower
Dangerously Stupid
Lesser amount of arsenal and weaponry
Gets outclassed by Juans AOE and haxxes
Hasn't had a new video in a while..
Conclusion
In the end this fight has a pretty clear cut winner.
Spooderman definitely has ways to compete with Juan seeing as they have similar weapons. Not to mention Spoodermans has the experience to deal with someone like Juan, but that'll only go so far until Juan starts using his kit…Juan has greater stats, skills, arsenal and abilities to combat anything Spooderman has to offer..and his added support and ranged abilities just give him the upper hand in most scenarios. Maybe Spooderman will get new abilities and arsenal soon..but for now it looks like Juan can do what spooder-can't.
Juan has escaped this deadly fate and is tonight's winner
Spooderman on the other hand, has been sentenced to Death By Blog.
THE WINNER IS JUAN.
Thanks to Stars for doing the usual thing smh
What's Next?
Shrek vs Beast (Dreamworld/Disney)
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