Tuesday, July 16, 2024

DBB: Character Chamber - Rango

 

“No man can walk out of his own story.."

 - Spirit of the West

Welcome to DBB:

Character Chamber 


We gather here today to discuss a legend of the west..well he's not really from the west but he's a legend nonetheless. All legends have stories to tell, and most of those stories deserve a really cool blog……this legend included. He is the lizard without a name…the hero of dirt..but you all know him as


Rango: the lonely lizard who became a true hero and savior of Dirt.


You know me, FMT

And it's time to see if this Scaly Sheriff has the best Arsenal, Abilities and Actions to survive Death By Blog

Before We Begin

Now it isn't too difficult to talk about his media. We'll of course be using the Movie, the Video Game and the Novels. Only thing we won't be using is Rango: the World since it's more of an interactive game that's lost media and adds nothing to Rango….

Background 

“Crunchy-creamy-cookie-candy-cupcake. Okay everybody, let's take it from the top!”


The stage is set, we pan into a big stereotypical family on vacation driving on a very Busy road. This very careless family decided to have their pet Chameleon (who's in a glass habitat mind you) in their trunk with all of their luggage. Now this Lizard was a very lonely lizard lost in his own story…he lived his life pretending that he had an amazing life with many many friends but the truth was that he had nobody. And while he is a VERY talented actor….there was just one problem…his characters were always undefined. What he needed was an random unexpected event that would propel the hero into conflict! Which is exactly what happened!


There was a car accident and it left him flying out from the backseat of the trunk where he was left stranded in the middle of the road. He found what caused this accident, it was an armadillo trying to continue his journey to the “other side". Now it's the fucking desert, a Chameleon and Desert don't mix well together do they. So He needed to find water..and to find water he needed to find dirt. He needed to find a town..not a metaphorical one…so off he went into the desert..alone..he was probably going to die.


The desert is a very dangerous place, he had to deal with the heat, dryness and the predators of the Desert..like a hungry hawk. After a close call almost getting eaten by a hawk he slept in a water pipe to hopefully sleep off his fear and newfound worries. But he was awoken by….water?? Water in the desert? He has no time to worry about water in the desert when he was soon looking up at a fucking shotgun aimed right at him. It was a weirdly well dressed female desert iguana named beans, who rightfully questioned who he was and why he was near water in the desert.


After a small and confusing confrontation she took him to the town of dirt.. which is just a small town filled with other desert animals. Water was definitely a huge problem in dirt, people had to sell their land and leave, the townspeople were turning on each other and were losing hope. Now this Lizard was definitely out of place so he had to fit him, so he went into a small bar and tried making his mark. He told everyone how he was from the west, and that he had a very dangerous life with adventurous ranges and death makers. He gave himself a title, he gave himself a name…..Rango. 


It seemed like his acting prowess was of good use, since everyone believed his lies. Though it ended up leaving him in a tough spot when tough bandits showed up and the folks told of Rango and how he can rise up to their intimidation. Rango found himself in an old-fashioned shoot off, that was until the bandits seemingly ran away from something…oh shit it was the Hawk. The Hawk continuously chased after Rango hoping to catch his next meal, unfortunately Rango kept running and running and the townsfolk thought he was a brave son of a gun. Eventually Rango found himself “tied up" and the Hawk hanging onto him, Rango finally remembered that he had a GUN and shot randomly, luckily it hit an empty water tower then fell and killed the Hawk. The Townsfolk fully immersed into Rangos' lies and cheered for their new hero. Now it was time for him to meet the mayor….


Meeting with the Mayor was definitely a first for Rango but even he believed Rangos tall tales. The Mayor explained that if you control the water, you control everything..the townspeople may not have water but they believe that tomorrow will be a great day and that they will have water..and right now they believe in Rango. Rango finally saw that he truly became a hero to this town and they need him, at that moment Rango was officially anointed the role of Sheriff. This would be no easy feat, Rango would have to make sure these people believe in him and he becomes the hero this town needs and deserves…


Today was the day of celebration, Rangos first duty as sheriff was to participate in the Town ritual of going near the water pipe and praying that there will be water. Rango was warned that now that the Hawk was Gone, a horrifying legend named Rattlesnake Jake was free to come and cause death..but there was no time to worry about that right now. It was Rangos job to see if there will be water today and if there will be hope….but just like all his fabrications, it was nothing but Mush. The Townspeople were furious, things didn't get better once Beans (accidentally) ranted about the Town's Bank running dry…the Towns small once of hope was getting slimmer and slimmer. Once entering the bank, Rango sees that yes, the only water this town has is running out. There's only 6 days of..oh wait I mean 5 days of water…but he explained that as long as they had water, they had a town…they had hope. 


Rangos new job was to guard the Bank and make sure no one was gonna steal the last slip of hope the Townspeople had. Unfortunately some bandits heard this news and attempted to steal from the bank themselves…which they completely failed at since they dug out a completely different place. They were caught Red Handed by Rango…for not having the right digging equipment and a prospecting permit…and then he just straight up tells them where the bank was..yeah he fucked up. The Townspeople woke up hearing that the banks been robbed and that the water has been stolen..yeah Rango REALLY fucked up. Rango had to get a group of men (and beans) to follow the tunnel the bandits left and find the water themselves..the whole town was depending on Rango to find their water and save their town.


The men continuously followed the water pipe and the trail and found themselves in the middle of the desert, but what they found was worse than they thought. They found the dead body of the banker who worked at the bank..in the middle of the desert? It was assumed that he died of heat stroke but no, he was DROWNED. Rango found footprints near the body..and they were wet. Things were getting confusing but they had to continue their journey….after hours of following a trail they all decided to rest for the night. After a prayer to the great spirit of the west Rango found himself in a state of guilt and shame..these people believed he was their savior and hero..but he was a coward..a liar..the good news is that he's definitely hitting it up with Beans at least! After a good night's rest it was time to start their hunt.


They finally located the bandits and they located the water..it was time to strike…of course only after a quick acting break! Rango put on a fun little play to distract and memorize the bandits, and when it was time for them to reach for the sky, that's when they pulled their artillery out. Rango told the main bandit that he and his entire family were to put their hands up and surrender…but he didn't understand that when he said their entire family…it meant their ENTIRE family. Hundreds of moles and family members began rising from the ground and Rango was cornered..how about a good ol fashioned standoff. After an alarming gunshot Rango and his men rode on the carriage with the water and went off to return it…the bandits prepared as they summoned all their bat companions for a high speed desert chase.


After a very long (and very awesome) chase scene, it turns out there was actually no water.. They've been fighting for nothing. Rango rightfully questions the bandits and they explain that they killed nobody, someone robbed the bank before they did and they just found the empty jug in the middle of the desert. Of course you can't instantly trust crooks and there was nothing else they could do so Rango decided to bring the crooks back to Dirt so they could be hanged. Of course they came back with pure sadness and no words..they came back with nothing. Rango was very confused and curious, so he decided to talk to the mayor again. Once arriving at the mayor's hangout sesh, he found boots with the same wet tracks and bottom as the ones near the drowned body. He questioned the mayor about the instances happening and someone dumping water in the desert, the Mayor only responded with “how could you believe the word of 2 criminals" but that didn't Stop Rango from being suspicious.


The Mayor told him that he'd been there before the water dried out and watched everything progress, and it was time for the next progression. He wanted to build the future, a new town without lawmen or criminals. Rango questions if someone was really trying to control the water so they can control everything, in which the Mayor was defensive and only shamed Rango....after Rango left he decided to call in Rattlesnake Jake. Things weren't going so well right now in the town, innocent men were being hanged, they didn't know what was happening and more importantly what happened to the water. There was even an angry mob of the Townspeople begging for the men to be hanged for what they took from them. Rango explained that as long as there was someone to protect them…a sheriff…then there was hope..but unfortunately that hope was shattered in a matter of bullet rounds.


It was the grim reaper…Rattlesnake Jake..who came to expose Rango as the liar he is. He even proved that Rango wasn't a killer by making him put a gun to his head…but Rango didn't have the killer in his eyes. Jake showed the town all the lies Rango told and all the deceit he did..he made Rango walk out of the town a shameful man..and Rango knew that he fucked up immensely. Rango left the town a sad miserable man and went back to the road he started his adventure at, he saw himself as just a nobody not worth living anymore, so he crossed the road hoping to get run over by one of the many passing cars (Jesus Christ this is a KIDS movie.) Rango then passed out after crossing the road and woke up in a bright place, where he met a man in the desert…but it was no ordinary Man, it was the spirit of the west. 


After a long talk with the spirit, Rango came to the conclusion that no man can walk out of his own story..and these people needed him, so Rango needed to be a hero. Rango then talked to the old Armadillo and found that everyone sees something different after crossing the other side. They then followed these walking cactus who always try to follow the water into large grouping place. There they find a huge city with lots of water, and they also find a Water gauge that's been messed with. Rango finally found what was happening, the Mayor was messing with the Water supply to buy all the Townspeople sell their land to him so he can make a new society where he controls everything..and Beans had the only land that wasn't bought out..so he had to go back quickly..but first he needed some help.


Rango went to the criminals family and explained that their brethren and pappy were gonna be hanged for something they didn't do, but Rango had a plan. The Mayor and Jake are trying to make beans sell her land and before Jake gets blood on his…uh…tail? Rango arrives in town to confront Rattlesnake Jake and finally end this. He makes sure Jake is on top of a conspicuously placed board, and when the time came for the annual ritual, the criminal family and the walking cacti let the water out and made it so it released all out into the town where Jake was launched from a water geiser. A bunch of water was flowing everywhere throughout the town which helped the criminals go free. After Jake landed on the ground he heard the sound of a hawk, he quickly went to cover in fear until he realized it was just a bunch of bats. So he proceeded to shoot down all the flying critters until he was met with a gun to his face by Rango. Jake exclaimed that Rango didn't have the nerve but at that very moment he finally saw the killer in his eyes and was truly shocked and in fear…


Rango then saw that the Mayor was holding beans hostage so he was forced to drop his gun and surrender. The Mayor then trapped Rango and beans inside a glass that would eventually be filled with water. The Mayor held a gun to Jake's head exclaiming that lawmen weren't needed in this civilization and that pretty soon nobody would remember he existed. Then Rango proceeded to put a bullet in his mouth saying it was plan B, then Beans ended up Kissing him (awwwww) but then she ended up swallowing the bullet- (ohhh.) Thankfully Rango used a heimlich to make her spit out the bullet which ended up breaking the glass and letting all the water out which washed up the Mayor leaving him helpless and on the ground. He of course pleaded for Mercy but Rango let Jake decide what would happen to him..Jake realized that Rango truly was a legend and tipped his hat in respect for him. Jake then took the mayor and dragged him far off into the desert where we can assume he met a delicious fate. Rango then saw that he really was a hero to this town..he brought their water back, rid the corruption and even made friends with their biggest enemy…Rango finally made a life for himself and he lived it as a savior and a legend.


And so the lizard completes his journey. From humble beginnings to the legend we sing of today. And although he is certain to die, perhaps from uh…a household accident, which accounts for sixty five percent of all unnatural deaths. The people of the village will always remember the name of the one who saved them.

Rango.

Skill and Experience

Rango may be a liar who never did any real action before he came to the desert but that doesn't mean he hasn't picked up a few things on his journey. While he's very naive and honestly…stupid. he's able to come up with complex solutions and stories in only a couple of seconds and can even pick up clues and small details that'll help later on. He was able to figure out how the mayor was controlling the water and came up with a plan to bring the water back right after he had a depressed episode. And while he was never experienced in action before he was still able to be of massive use when he and his crew were in a massive chase and had to go up against a hawk. And even when he had no experience with a gun he was able to learn to become a great sharpshooter. 


A couple of years after the movie is when the game takes place, Rango has been sheriff for a while now and has gotten used to all his feats of excellence. He's been going on many ventures stopping big bad Bill, rattlesnake Jake, stopping a zombie apocalypse and an alien invasion!! Rango was capable of learning how to fly a UFO almost instantly, and was able to defeat an alien pufferfish that wanted to abduct everyone on the planet (holy shit Rango) and he's generally become a way better hand to hand fighter, being able to fight with guys 5x his size. Not to mention he's also a master of stealth, being able to hide from even a human with his quick agile thinking.

Arsenal

Revolver

Yeah it's a gun lol, literally just a gun

(This scene is dope asf tho)

Shotgun

If you want a bigger hole in someone's chest, use a shotgun! It always works.. trust me

Pop-Corned Shooter 

This here is the Corn-fed, water cooled, organically engineered shooter with Dual action pump! And it shoots popcorn..But don't let that fool you, it can still do much damage against enemies! It can also hold a bullet that changes the direction of the target almost like a drone. Not to mention multipliers can be added on to it, which makes the gun have even more ammo and shooting barrage. This gun even has an option that shoots dynamite, and a spread shot that works almost like a shotgun. 

Toy Sword

Taste a sting of his vengeance!! A sting of his….uhh…we're not getting anything-

C'mon people we've talked about this, acting is reacting!

Torches

Now I'm not saying this is Minecraft…BUT…if you're deep in a cave needing some light for path, a torch would probably work the best.

Rope/Lasso

All Cowboys have a lasso to catch their enemy! Now we haven't actually seen Rango use his lasso but we've seen him have it and we know they use the rope to hold the criminals so he gets it anyways!

Roadrunner

Now when it comes to the old west you think of riding horses along the sunset. Unfortunately these guys are way too small so they had to use something small..but also Fast. Good choice too, since Roadrunners can run up to 26 miles per hour! They're even fast enough to catch up to trains.

Bat

But wait isn't this part of the mole families arsenal? You would be correct but you're not…y'all are peanut brains. Rango can simply whistle out loud and summon a bat he can use to ride in the skies! They can also shoot out sound beams that act sorta like Psychic blasts.

UFO

I know what y'all are thinking “what in the actual fuck, why does Rango have a UFO" I was thinking the same thing. You see when Rango was abducted by aliens in order to escape he put the mothership on self destruct. So he stole a UFO which he used to escape the ship and land safely on the ground! This ship comes with lasers and fast travel!

Prospecting Equipment 

Now..we got a Shovel, Pickaxe (which he can use to help mine for golden treasures!) , Benadryl, Lufa, Assorted snacks, some puzzle books and of course a permit!

Dynamite 

In the west of course you need some handy dandy dynamite! This is some good stuff, as you can see it made an explosion capable of making a small canyon rock structure fall

Radioactive Meteorite 

These radioactive looking rocks are actually parts of a meteorite that landed in dirt! Rango spent the whole game collecting these artifacts. By themselves they're able to automatically teleport someone onto the alien mothership, together they become an alien entity that controls the entire mothership.

Golf Club

Now Rango may not be very skilled in the sport but he can be very handy with a Golf Club. He can call upon bugs to let him knock down any structure to help him along his path. They're strong enough to knock out a human too! Not to mention they can be used as an explosive AOE to kill an army of zombies from far! 

Cigarette and Cactus Juice 

Both are already separately a dangerous combo (I mean with how bad they are for a lizard's body that's obvious) but mixed together it can make something…fired up?

Mr. Timm

He's the Omnipotent god of Rango…he's not?

Oh, usually these kinds of things are….well then he's just a normal wind up toy fish but he gives good company!

Guitar

Hola.

Abilities 

Chameleon Physiology 

Oooohh real animal physiology discussion!! How fun!!!! Now While chameleons aren't as good at blending in with their surroundings as shown in cartoons where they become invisible or transparent or mimic polka dots. Most chameleons can still change their color to and pattern by manipulating the pigments and crystals of guanine embedded in their skin as shown by Rango above!! This especially comes in handy for hiding from predators or even worse…humans. Chameleons also have the ability to see light in the ultraviolet spectrum. Basically UV radiation has more energy than visible light detected by humans and their ultraviolet sense evolved to allow chameleons to better target their prey!

Of course lots of people also know that Chameleons have very interesting eyes….they move independently in their sockets and provide an almost 360-degree scope of vision. In addition to perceiving UV light, they're great at seeing at large distances and each eye has excellent depth perception. This allows lizards to keep an eye on insects from up to 20 feet away…speaking of which.

So everyone knows Chameleons come with long, sticky tongues,often two or three times the length of their bodies which they forcefully eject from their mouths. And a Chameleon can launch its tongue at full force even in temperatures low enough to make other reptiles much slower and weak. Chameleons also have a way to stay firmly attached to the branches of trees..

Most Chameleons including Rango himself also have very unique tails to wrap around tree branches. Their tails give chameleons greater flexibility and stability when climbing up or down trees and they also help brace against the insane recoil of their tongue. Tho unfortunately Unlike some other lizards that can shed and regrow their tails numerous times throughout their lifetimes, a chameleon can't regenerate its tail if it's cut off…so no Regenerative abilities for Rango.

Resistances

Actions

Overall

  • Made people believe he was a hero with just one story and a good act

  • Survived multiple events and near death situations despite having no combat or hero experience 

  • Gained the respect of an infamous outlaw

  • Successfully brought the water back and saved the Town from corruption and control 

  • Stopped a Zombie AND Alien takeover 

  • Rescued Beans lost father and defeated big bad Bill 

  • Made it to the other side

Strength 

Speed

Durability 

Scaling 

Rattlesnake Jake

Weaknesses 

Rango is definitely impressive for the right reasons, but it doesn't change the fact that in the end…he's still just a lizard lol. He's always going to be below normal humans. And while he became a full on hero, he still has some old traits like making stupid decisions or not taking anything seriously. 


Not to mention he can be pretty egotistical and be full of himself even during a fight, which can make him open to attacks.

Before the conclusion 

The Water Feat

When Rango hatched a plan that finally brought water back to Dirt, it created many water explosions that broke through the ground, destroyed many small buildings and even created a beach in its aftermath.


So does Rango scale to it? At first glance no, he doesn't survive or withstand any of the water geysers and no one seemingly resists the actual burst of water, since the bandit boys were able to ride the water stream but didn't survive its impact. You can definitely say Jake scales to it since he survived the impact himself which left him flying in the air but he didn't survive the whole thing, as the Water made multiple geysers through the town. He'd scale but not to an insane degree.


On the contrary, some members of the bandit family take down the water pipe to let the water flow to the town and they survive the ENTIRE impact of what started and led to the aftermath. And considering Rango and his crew fought against these guys, it'd make sense for him to scale to the impact. 


So where would this feat get?? Well….

Like Wall..yeah. It created a pond overtime and it didn't affect that much. We gotta remember these guys are like 4 inches tall so…yeah it ain't that impressive lol

All in his head??

Just a quick little something to say, the Game is mostly Rango retelling events that happened to him throughout the week. We do see that he sometimes changes events to make the story more interesting or exciting, so it's hard to tell if these stories even actually happened..I mean Zombie invasion?? Train chase?? It all seems like something he'd make up.


Well it all ends up being true as the last part of the game is happening in real time and shows that Rango was right, and even shows the events that led to the start of the game. And nothing hints at the final part being made up either, I mean honestly a zombie invasion sounds way less crazy than an Alien abduction invasion. 

Are the Rango lasers real?

No. They're not real lasers.

Preferred Opponent?

Here's a more unique section I wanna do for these Character Chambers, and that is to say who my preferred is for said Character. So who's my preferred for Rango? Well that must go to 


Roderick "Roddy" St. James is definitely my preference for Rango. I love Flushed Away as a movie that I grew up with and it has so much similar charm and spirit that Rango has.

Connections 

 Both were originally pets belonging to humans in which they lived a lifestyle where they were constantly lonely and had nobody to talk to but always convinced themselves that they had many friends and had a perfect life. But after an accident that left them to be abandoned from their old life they found themselves in a harsh place with a harsh environment until they found a whole place filled with other animals like them that were different and more human than expected. They both ended up having a confrontation with a badass female who was already trying to sort out their own problems and had to deal with a corrupt upbringing. They eventually find themselves in a predicament that causes them to be involved with said problems of course getting a new name for themselves. They meet up with a high powered individual that's presumably causing problems and wanting power. Over the course of the events they grow closer to their female companions, gaining their trust (and breaking it) Becoming more useful and learning more and more about the new world they're in and getting a sweet taste of action. But they also get reminded of their old life and that they're still just lonely good for nothing liars.. Fortunately they go through many obstacles on the way, getting in a high speed chase, basically just constantly being chased lol, and having to go against highly known individuals hired by the antagonist. But after all that they find themselves in a bad spot where their lies unfold and it gets revealed that they're just loners with no real life and no real friends…and they abandon what they already had back there and accept what they have now. But after figuring out what the antagonist is planning through a greatly executed sequence showing off the clues and hints of what's to come. They realize that they must go back and save these people once and for all. They face off against the many antagonists they've come across, make a rescue attempt for their companion and finally stop the antagonists plan and save everyone…and they're now seen as heroes, teasing towards more adventures and more action to come in the future.

Dynamic 

Character dynamics is very fun, you can have a fun personality clash between the over the top naive and egotistical Rango and the more sarcastic over the top rationalizer Roddy. The Banter is just so witty and you can have many awkward but funny moments and moments that show off their more confident hero side. Now the fight dynamic may seem weird since Rango has a gun but doesn't always use it in the first confrontation, mostly for intimidation. He'd definitely rather use his less dangerous weapons first and save his last bullet for last which would make for a cool climax, and Roddy himself does have a bunch of random items he can use in the fight and he's really good with a sword, and it'd be really funny to incorporate his toy gun in it by making Rango think it's an incredibly dangerous weapon. Then you can have some really fun chase scenes especially with the Jammy Dodger, both movies are known best for their good chase scenes and there's just so much fun you can have with it. And you can incorporate their quick thinking and their smarts Into a well thought out final fight, plus you can change the settings of the fight a lot since sewer systems have tons of setting potential.. like just imagine the climax being inside of a house it's very fun. Overall I love this matchup a lot and it's really what I wanna see in a Rango fight…


Special thanks to me, I'm great and awesome for making these blogs smh…

Seriously big thanks to Stars for being a calc slave basically doing almost all the calcs…mans is a W.

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